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My partner just sent me this....

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  • My partner just sent me this....

    THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES:
    Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks..

    Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.

    There is no fast food.

    Each man must:

    take care of his 3 kids;
    keep his assigned house clean,
    correct all homework,
    complete science projects,
    cook,
    do laundry,
    and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.


    In addition, each man will have to budget enough money for groceries each week.

    Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives,
    and send cards out on time--no emailing.

    Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

    He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

    He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a school function.

    Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.

    The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

    The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished, and eyebrows groomed.

    During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches, have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

    They must attend weekly school meetings and church, and find time at least once to spend
    the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

    They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.

    A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size, doctor's name, the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor,
    each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear, and what they want to be when they grow up.

    The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

    The last man wins only if...
    he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

    If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

    After you get done laughing, you might want to share this with other good women
    you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

    Just don't send it back to me....

    I'm going to bed.


    She didn't like it when I pointed out she still has time to read and send me these emails .
    Mike Rainbird

    Click above - Sarcasm is just a free service I provide.

    http://www.rsnorfolk.co.uk/

    Nordschleife, there's only two barriers to worry about - the ones on the left and the ones on the right .

  • #2
    You have a wife

    Its a trolley ...its a shopping trolley (you know, with the spastic front wheel!!)
    Fastest FWD Ford - 11.7 @129mph (183.99mph Topspeed)

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    • #3
      that's nothing like my house, my misses doesn't get out of bed until well after 7:30am on a school day

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      • #4
        Originally posted by luca View Post
        You have a wife
        OOOOHHHH Dont go there Luke!!!!

        He;s THAT fucking tight, he wont marry her!!
        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Franco View Post
          OOOOHHHH Dont go there Luke!!!!

          He;s THAT fucking tight, he wont marry her!!
          And what's wrong with that, Lou and I have been engaged for 9 years and have two kids, although I have finally run out of excuses and will be getting married after 10 years of engagement next year

          Best comment from the older child was "Mummy you will be part of my family then", both kids have my surname

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          • #6
            Originally posted by luca View Post
            You have a wife
            Don't worry, it's just a cover .
            Mike Rainbird

            Click above - Sarcasm is just a free service I provide.

            http://www.rsnorfolk.co.uk/

            Nordschleife, there's only two barriers to worry about - the ones on the left and the ones on the right .

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Ben Purnell View Post
              And what's wrong with that, Lou and I have been engaged for 9 years and have two kids, although I have finally run out of excuses and will be getting married after 10 years of engagement next year

              Best comment from the older child was "Mummy you will be part of my family then", both kids have my surname
              Oh look...........a pair of tight arses!
              sigpic

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              • #8
                I'm up for that, as there is no mention of having to go to work

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Franco View Post
                  Oh look...........a pair of tight arses!
                  no not at all, just don't see the point but am being bullied into it, although I have opted for the cheap option of registry office and a big pee up at my dad's local Cricket Club (which the hire of the place is free and the drinks are cheap), oh and we will be getting the local farmer to do a hog roast.

                  Hmmm hang on, yeah your right I'm a tight arse

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Franco View Post
                    Oh look...........a pair of tight arses!
                    Mike would be in his element!

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mike Rainbird View Post
                      Don't worry, it's just a cover .
                      what for your closet homosexuality?

                      Medically Discharged!! Officially insane!!!
                      My toy!! Pic 1 Pic 2 Pic 3 Pic 4

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                      • #12
                        Obviously this is American or it would of stated

                        "Go to post office, collect child support. Then spend child support on tv's, jewellry and other stuff you don't need"
                        "complain you have no money"


                        FletchCossie Sponsors Motoring On Dave

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by luca View Post
                          You have a wife
                          Yep

                          She is called ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Dave

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                          • #14
                            she forgot to mention see mates a few times a week and have coffee etc while the kids are at school then moan like fook that you don't help enough with the house work when you have gone to work all day with loads of stress and then do paperwork when you get home all in a bid to keep them in shoes
                            sigpic
                            MAD tuned, DP engine, 530 bhp 480 lbft, autronics, anti lag, EFR 7670,

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                            • #15
                              funny as fuck.




                              anyway where did this originate?and why the fuck did the woman have time to write it?wasnt there a job she had to do in the kitchen?!
                              sigpic

                              guns for show,knives for a pro

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