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I was at a party last night, the DJ played that song-oh sit down! We all sat down! DJ played-jump around! We all jumped around! DJ played-come on Eileen! The bastards kicked me out!
3 Irishmen sat in a cafe each cracking one off. The waitress goes over and says "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" One of the Irishmen points to a sign and that says "1st come, 1st served"...
Dawn French is so upset about her split with Lenny Henry that she's gone on hunger strike, doctors have given here 24 years to live
2 priests enter a bucking bronco competition, the 1st priest climbs on and only lasts 10 seconds. The 2nd priest has a go and lasts an amazing 10 minutes. "How the fuck did you do that?" asks the 1st priest. The 2nd priest replies "one of my alter boys has epilepsy".
A hippie sits next to a nun on a bus and asks her if he could have sex with her. "No, I am married to God" she shouts and gets off the bus disgusted. As the hippy get ready to leave at his stop, the bus driver states "she prays every Tuesday night at midnight in the graveyard, why don't you dress up in a hooded robe, go to the graveyard, tell her you are God and demand sex?"
The hippie tries this and to his surprise, there is the nun in the graveyard praying, so he commands "I am God, give me sex now"
The nun replies "yes, but only if we have anal sex as i want to keep my virginity"
So they have passionate bum sex and when they are done, the hippie throws off his robe and cries "ha ha, i'm the hippie"
The nun cries out "ha ha, i'm the bus driver!"
A couple run out of money and decide that the wife should go on game. Hubby says to stand on the corner and i'll wait around the corner. A car stops and wife gets in, bloke asks "how much" to which the wife reply's "£100". The bloke says he's only got £20 so the wife says "hold on" and runs around the corner and tells hubby that he'd only got £20, hubby says "ok, just give him a hand job". She gets back in the car and tells the bloke who agrees, lays back, and whips out the biggest cock she has ever seen!
She says "hold on" and runs back to hubby and says "can you lend him £80???"
3 Irishmen sat in a cafe each cracking one off. The waitress goes over and says "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" One of the Irishmen points to a sign and that says "1st come, 1st served"...
Dawn French is so upset about her split with Lenny Henry that she's gone on hunger strike, doctors have given here 24 years to live
2 priests enter a bucking bronco competition, the 1st priest climbs on and only lasts 10 seconds. The 2nd priest has a go and lasts an amazing 10 minutes. "How the fuck did you do that?" asks the 1st priest. The 2nd priest replies "one of my alter boys has epilepsy".
A hippie sits next to a nun on a bus and asks her if he could have sex with her. "No, I am married to God" she shouts and gets off the bus disgusted. As the hippy get ready to leave at his stop, the bus driver states "she prays every Tuesday night at midnight in the graveyard, why don't you dress up in a hooded robe, go to the graveyard, tell her you are God and demand sex?"
The hippie tries this and to his surprise, there is the nun in the graveyard praying, so he commands "I am God, give me sex now"
The nun replies "yes, but only if we have anal sex as i want to keep my virginity"
So they have passionate bum sex and when they are done, the hippie throws off his robe and cries "ha ha, i'm the hippie"
The nun cries out "ha ha, i'm the bus driver!"
A couple run out of money and decide that the wife should go on game. Hubby says to stand on the corner and i'll wait around the corner. A car stops and wife gets in, bloke asks "how much" to which the wife reply's "£100". The bloke says he's only got £20 so the wife says "hold on" and runs around the corner and tells hubby that he'd only got £20, hubby says "ok, just give him a hand job". She gets back in the car and tells the bloke who agrees, lays back, and whips out the biggest cock she has ever seen!
She says "hold on" and runs back to hubby and says "can you lend him £80???"
like the one with the bus driver
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